Christmas Nut

Long ago,my children accepted the fact that I was a Christmas nut. Probably they were thinking just a plain nut but they were kind enough not to mention it. Santa came to our house as long as any of the children lived there, no matter how old they were. I knew the Christmas morning my middle son would spent at home prior to leaving for the Army probably would be the last one Santa would attend for him. Can you imagine my dismay having to run upstairs at 8:00 a.m. to wake both he and his sister with loud shouts of "SANTA HAS BEEN HERE!". I was told, "Oh, go on momma, you are the only one that still believes." That hurt, but it didn't deter me. I knew that I was still on the right track when I overheard my nine year old grandson explaining to his friend that he didn't believe in Santa but his grandmother still did so please don't mention it in front of her. Each year, I continued to drag out all the Christmas decorations that had not been left up all year. Friends who have not visited my home in a while ask, "Do you still have the Christmas house?"

Of course I still have the Christmas house. Every room has something Christmas in it all year round. We drink out of Christmas coffee cups every day and Santas decorate every room. I discontinued leaving a tree in my bedroom after I had the accident. The accident happened one July after spending a week at the beach. Prior to the beach trip, I discovered that if you put Crisco on your feet they would stay soft and lovely. I neglected my Crisco treatment while on vacation because I didn't want to check into a nice hotel with a can of Crisco. You know how judgemental people are of Southerners. So, after a week of walking on the sand without my nightly Crisco foot therapy, I was starting to lose that lovely look. I decided that I would redouble my efforts by applying lots of Crisco and covering my feet with socks while I slept. This plan was working well until I forgot to reset my alarm clock after vacation. I woke up late, jumped out of the bed, my well oiled feet hit the hardwood floor, my head flew to the right while my feet took off to the left knocking out the Christmas tree. Angels and gold balls were flying all around the room. I salvaged the angels but the tree was a goner.

These days, I don't put my lone Christmas tree up until after the annual Thanksgiving blow out. It is crowded enough with my big family, plus I don't want my mother-in-law to take the Christmas tree out with her wheelchair. You would be surprised how long you can still find angels slung from a tree. This year I waited longer than I ever had to put the tree up. The morning seemed perfect as I carried the eight foot prelit tree downstairs while looking out at a soft falling snow. Even though I knew the snow would not lay, as we say in the south, I thought it added to the Christmas feeling. That Christmas joy soon turned to an evil spirit as I fiddled with the unresponsive lights on that darn prelit tree. Only an atheist or a terrorist would string a tree with lights that go out if ONE bulb is blown. Worse than that, I had three strings out. I just figured I would quickly take the lights off and replace them with my own lights. Have you ever tried to get those #$%@ light off? They are strung tighter than a noose and clamped on with these tiny plastic clips that will rip the skin off your thumbs. It was 2:00 p.m. and I was still working on the tree in my monkey pajamas when my friend called to remind me we were going on the Christmas Open House Tour. To put it mildly, I was not in the mood for a Christmas Open House Tour where everyone else had their homes fully decorated while mine lingered in shambles. Short strips of lights that had been snipped off my tree made the room look like a crime scene at the North Pole. My husband wisely didn't say a word, he went directly to the tool box for another pair of wire snips to aide in the project at hand. A sense of calm entered the room when the de-lighting was done and the Christmas decorations were strategically placed on the tree. Soon the frustration vanished when the tree was plugged in. Most of the lights worked. I like the new sporadic lighting look this year and I can't wait for Santa to come.