Momma's telephone

Poor momma is so upset about her loss of sight. She can't see to do anything. She seemed most upset about not being able to dial a telephone. Wonderful daughter that I am, I found a large button telephone that actually spoke the number dialed. I got the telephone Thursday morning, the same morning I was going out of town for several days. It was not packaged for mailing so a friend volunteered to take it to a "post office like" store to mail it for me. The post office like store was the first mistake. I wanted it to go to my brother's address, second mistake, so he could read the directions and show them how to use the telephone. I wanted it to go U.S. mail so it would be delivered on Saturday. The third mistake I made was telling them I was sending the telephone. I should have let it be a surprise but I was trying to prevent momma from sending daddy all over creation looking for a large button telephone. This fiasco started on May 14, 2009. Not only did I get called several times a day to inform me that the telephone had not arrived, my brother got called at home and at his office. Daddy was mad that I didn't mail it directly to them. I thought that I was dong the right thing by sending it to my brother so he could figure the telephone out before showing it to our parents. Then he started in on did I insure the package. All I knew was that it cost $15 to mail. Daddy informed everyone who would listen to him that the post office didn't take care of packages that were not insured. My brother and I had a visual of the post office gently placing insured packages on the mail truck while wildly tossing anything that had been foolishly not insured. Daddy never passed up the opportunity to tell me I had made a mistake not insuring it. I told him that I had made many mistakes in my life but that was one I was learning to regret the most. Today, May 26, 2009, the ordeal is nearly over. My loyal postman, whom I will never ditch for look-alike service, brought the package back to my office. The fake post office person had put the wrong mailing address on the package and had not even mailed it until May 19, 2009. So when I went by on Monday, May 18, 2009 to see where the package might be, he informed me that it was at the post office in my brother's town. Liar, liar, pants on fire. My friend went Tuesday, and I went back Wednesday. Meanwhile back at the ranch I was getting called daily by my parents.

Today I can proudly call my parents to say the insured package has been mailed to their address and should be there by tomorrow or the next day at the latest. Hooray for the U.S. Mail.